I find it a challenge now, to look after myself so totally – that it means saying no to people/events – that you would normally jump at the chance to go to.
What happens if you’re a yes person, but your body says no?
You can either listen to your body & snuggle into bed or ignore yourself and push on with an extra cup of coffee in your system, and then reap the consequences of your actions in the future.
I have already posted something similar titled ‘I am not an asshole, I just have Crohns’, and this post if of a similar vein – but a topic matter that those with chronic illness have to weigh up on a regular basis.
This past week, I lost the opportunity to be a part of a project because I didn’t attend a social dinner/meeting that was asked to attend. I had fully committed to the project itself – however this dinner/meeting came up mid week week, and me wanting to, said yes.
However, come the Friday, I was exhausted. I had a big week of work, and come Friday eve when this meeting/get-together was – I (in their words) “bailed last minute”.
And I did too – but I couldn’t attend this social gathering if I tried. My body was done in. So, consequently, they questioned my commitment to the project, and I was let go.
And, on reflection…perhaps for the best;)
This is a classic example of putting self first – now more than ever, cause lord knows I do not want to end up on the surgery table again.
So there we go, I guess it’s a sacrifice in a sense – you can’t please everyone. And to be honest, sometimes I feel people really don’t understand chronic illness unless they have/or know someone who lives with chronic illness.
I was frustrated no doubt when this happened….frustrated at losing the project… frustrated at Crohn’s Disease.
However, I slept all weekend.
And it was wonderful;)
Moving forward, I will continue to take my work seriously, however, if ever I am too exhausted or on the edge of being run down – quite frankly, I will always listen to self, and my health will always come first.