Resolutions?

New Years resolutions?

Made em?

Broke em yet?

Am gonna conquer the world!!!!

…Wait a minute….that’s a lotta work, think I’ll just sleep in….

Yep, good call;)

I came into this year with absolutely NO resolutions, or goals.

How about that, eh? May sound totally slack!

One think is certain however, I won’t be disappointed about breaking resolutions, why set yourself up for failure right? 😉

The thing about living with Crohn’s disease is – life can, at times, be hard to plan, it can be unpredictable – which personally, am greatly accustomed to.

Growing up – my life has always been a bit of an uncertain, my family moved a lot, at least 30 times – houses, cities and countries – this life experience has helped me to soak in new surroundings, adapt to new experiences, and also developed the ability to not attach myself to things, to environments, to people – to be able to accept change. Hard truth! There has never really been a sense of stability in my life with all the moving, and consequently, not having a sense of control over where my life goes.

Fortunately in high school – I found a certain passion – there was a brilliant drama department, and I became incredibly drawn to theatre. I found my tribe – people that are a little off centre, who live outside the bubble, talented eccentrics who have the ability to tell stories, beautifully. Perhaps you could call it escapism or perhaps it’s the innate desire to connect to something, someone, through creativity.

Also, a draw card to the arts was its unpredictability in career path. How amazing to know – that you don’t know where exactly you’re art could take you, what city you could arrive in, who you will meet, what stage you may perform on. There is magic in that – and also, for me – a comfort/familiarity in the unpredictability.

Ironically, you may say, during that time in high school, I also developed Crohn’s disease on a trip abroad with my parents. From then on, another inconsistency developed in life – that have since, never had control over. I then developed a stronger tolerance for pain, and an ability to keep on going regardless of Crohn’s symptoms – until however – it literally stopped me in my tracks a year and a half ago, with 3 major surgeries.

Now, I have a total certainty – awareness of the seriousness of this disease.

Moving forward, am not sure what the plan is, or what the future holds

(though, does anyone, really?)

I am still involved in what I love, stability is more important to me now than ever, peace of mind is a constant value, and being open about living with Crohn’s is incredibly important.

Though, how do I plan, when I feel little control, especially with chronic illness?

Take it day by day

Take care of self as best as possible

Live with grace, as much as I can

Be grateful for today

Are they resolutions? Goals?

Perhaps… 😉

I guess we have different scales of goals, plans, accomplishments yet to achieve – however working within the framework of disease, life can be harder to plan, or to set in stone – sometimes it’s the small things in life that resonate most – the small things that can be our biggest and most beautiful accomplishments.

Happy New Year:)

With love,

Sylvia

img_9131 #crohnsawareness

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s